CW: trauma, child abuse
Everything looks just a little more magical at this time of year to me. Maybe that’s Christmas, maybe it’s Sagittarius season, this brief, one month stint when I get the sun blessing my first house stellium and lighting up all my personal planets. Whatever the cause, I always feel a little brighter; I feel my faith a little stronger; and I feel my purpose a little clearer. To that end, I’m called to share three of my core beliefs with you today. These are truths that have guided me through the darkest of dark moments. They are my spiritual guideposts, and they hold me when the world feels cold.
What is for me will be for me.
I am exactly where I need to be.
Everything is flowing in my favor.
Now you might ask, “Cyn, how can you be a survivor of child rape and sexual abuse, a product of a horrifically broken and impoverished home, someone who lives with the scars of complex post-traumatic stress disorder and autoimmune disease and believe those things?” Let me be clear: I do not believe trauma is a gift. I don’t buy that whole “look how strong it’s made you” rhetoric. My traumas didn’t make me strong, they left me wounded. I, in partnership with the universe, made me strong. I chose what to do with what happened to me. I decided how to make meaning out of it. Me…and the universe (which you might called god or spirit or whatever. They are all the same to me).
The truth is I have overcome obstacles many don’t overcome. More than overcome, I am thriving in the face of them. It’s not always easy, and I am honest about that journey and the work I do along it. But those core beliefs, they are what have kept me alive. They enabled me to survive and then now begin to thrive. Trauma is never a blessing, it’s never a gift. But what you decide to do with what happened to you is fully in your control. How and if you decide to own your story is your choice.
My faith in the universe has never been stronger. My faith feels magical. Maybe a little bit of magic is necessary for faith? I don’t know. What I do know is, while the beliefs I shared may seem simple, they are a super powerful kind of magic, the kind you co-create with something so much bigger than yourself.
Here's the original Instagram reel and post: